her vagine was all disorganized.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
