listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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