How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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