so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
