Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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