nut hugger
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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