Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He passed out mid-signature
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
