i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
