WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
