dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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