You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
