It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
