PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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