let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Watching her eat just hurts me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
