The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
