This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
