i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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