talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
