If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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