apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
