She's JV to your varsity
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
