Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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