I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
