i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
