I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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