yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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