I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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