Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
