Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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