So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to make a zoo with you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
