oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Congratulations! We have a period
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
