eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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