I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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