So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
