question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
