my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
