I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
