Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
