at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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