Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
