My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
