She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
