the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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