I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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