Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
