Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
