Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
