his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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