i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
