I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
